Thursday, June 21, 2012

Endgame

I won't write here for a while. I don't know for how long, so I'll just tell you the truth:

The reason why I spent so much time correcting the book and registering it was that a New York publisher seemed interested in it. Seemed being the key word... I was under the impression that they needed my manuscript to review and tell me if they are indeed interested or not, but I was wrong. To be honest, I have no idea WHY they asked for it... Apparently to tell me that in order for them to review it and decide how good it is, I have to have 6000 to 10000$ ready. That because, in all likelihood, it's just "decent" and not best seller material, so they would be willing to co-finance the publishing...

I don't have that kind of money. Even if I did have it, there are bills to pay and food to be bought and I have a mother who depends and counts on me to do the responsible thing. And that's not borrowing it or working myself to death for it. Not to throw at a MAYBE...

There are few things that have hurt me so bad during the years. I had friends leaving me, dear ones dying on me, a father who has done nothing but disappoint me... But I can't recall one thing that hurt as bad as realizing it might be years until someone even decides to read my book...

I wish all these famous people I've tried to contact and whom I asked for help would once remember that they weren't born stars. I'm not asking for a handout - I've worked hard and honestly for everything I have, and I would do the same if just given a chance. But chance doesn't favor me I guess...

See you around.

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